I glanced up before resuming my stance. The pin wasn’t in sight, hidden just over a ridge and behind a bunker. No time for ‘pussy shots’ now. All round my approach shots had come up short. Well, not this time. I settled my feet and when I was totally happy wound up and released. The ball flew gracefully up and over the ridge. It landed nicely a few feet onto the green and rolled towards the pin. Surely not…but yes. The ball sank into the 16th hole of St. Andrews Links from all of 56 yards to give me an unimaginable birdie three.

Normally, it is at this kind of moment of sporting achievement that I wake up in a pool of sweat and dribble. However, the above genuinely happened. I am still unsure whether it is more remarkable this I managed such a feat despite being utterly atrocious at golf, or the fact that it all happened in Bangsar Shopping Centre.

If you haven’t yet discovered City Golf — it only ‘soft opened’ at the end of April but is already packing them in — then don’t be put off if you’re not into the game. Are you likely to represent Malaysia at Ten-Pin Bowling or Ice Skating? No? But you still spend a couple of hours enjoying these activities on the weekend, don’t you? And so it goes with City Golf.

The science is pretty amazing, but I’d be lying if I took absolutely all of it in as Tom Sarginson (Director and co-owner with fellow Englishman Steve Ebsworth) and Greg Petzer (General Manager) took me through why their simulators are the most accurate (and expensive, each one setting them back $80,000) on Earth.

Each simulator is a ten to twelve-foot cube that you walk into and hit from an Astroturf patch (with built-in tee) on the floor. Alongside this patch is a strip of slightly thicker turf that you hit from if (in my case; when) your ball goes into the rough. Then there is also a still thicker green patch designated for the thick rough, and another denser white strip for bunker shots.
‘Two layers of infra-red screens emit 60,000 rays a second’ said Greg, pointing out the thin strips at the end of the cube that surround the walls, ceiling and floor. These ensure that as you drive, chip or putt the ball through them and into the back wall, the exact trajectory and spin are taken into account.

And it is all done so quickly that literally the second your ball hits the back wall and drops harmlessly to the floor, its simulated equivalent appears on the screen and continues down the course as projected on the wall. All very impressive stuff, and I can see why they are so proud of Sporttheir machines (known as ‘Full Swing’ simulators). Greg confirmed that ‘…accuracy is in the high 99s, percentage-wise. It really is every bit as accurate as playing the course yourself.’

All of this was said long before my awesome shot on the 16th and you’ll have to take my word that Greg and Tom’s reaction showed how unlikely my achievement was. They said they couldn’t remember anyone ever chipping in from 10 yards before, let alone over 50. However, I fear I may be boring you now, so we’ll say no more about it.

Not least as, in terms of technique, the rest of my round was pretty miserable. I hadn’t picked up the clubs for 18 months beforehand and have barely ever played the game at anything beyond pitch and putt standards so it came as little surprise that there were numerous shanks, slices and tops off the tee. Plus, no end of ‘pussy shots’. A term aptly used to describe my reluctance to commit to the shot, resulting in repeatedly coming up short. ‘There’s no hiding on the “Full Swing” Simulator’ grinned Greg. ‘If you’re a good player, you’ll play well. If you’re not, well…’ he generously stopped. Rightly feeling it unnecessary to add ‘you play like you’ on the end of his sentence.

However, miserable is certainly not the word I would choose to describe my enjoyment of the evening. It was the most entertaining evening out I have had for a long time.

The venue itself is very simply but classily designed. The contemporary décor sleek and inviting. As well as comfy couches at each of their four simulators, they have a large bar area with tables and chairs and a big-screen ideal for watching live sport. Then there is a balcony over-looking Bangsar Baru and beyond that would comfortably hold 50 revellers on its own.

At RM40 for a jug of beer, and various reasonably priced bites like pizzas, sandwiches and a seafood sharing platter, City Golf is predominantly a social sporting venue. And with the golf itself being just RM100 per hour (off peak. RM150 6pm-midnight) per simulator, the cost when shared amongst four or even eight of you is actually not bad. However, regardless of expense, it is the quality and sheer addictiveness that is what draws you back to City Golf.

You don’t have to play a full round, although Tom conceded that for the first visit most people like to ‘do the famous stuff’, meaning 18 holes on St Andrews, Pebble Beach or one of the other Major courses. However, for returning players, the most popular thing is to get a group together and do a ‘closest to the pin’ or ‘longest drive’ tournament. Both are easily set up and you can choose from a multitude of well known holes from around the world.

However, the simulator isn’t just for social golfers like me. With detailed information and various training facilities, you can discover more about your swing and driving on a ‘Full Swing’ simulator than any number of trips to the driving range (and of course, you are not at the mercy of the weather). It tells you average distance and carry, plus show you the widest and average direction, so it is easy to see where you need to improve. For example, ten minutes on the training mode showed me that I was consistently guilty of fading (according to the very kind Greg) or slicing (according to the very honest me) the ball.

That meant that I was able to redirect the entire display on the screen, and start the ball further left than someone else would. A very useful tool. Likewise the Mulligan button, which got an embarrassing amount of use, especially from my appalling efforts off the tee. Still, I wasn’t fussed about that. Anyone can improve their golf. What I think you’ll struggle to improve upon in KL is a game of golf that is so entertaining, fun and satisfying.

City Golf Group Sdn Bhd, Bangsar Shopping Centre, Level 4, 285 Jalan Maarof, Bangsar. (03 2282 0011/www.citygolf.com.my). 12noon-12midnight.