By Lim Chee Wah

Seven years ago, Joanna Bessey was one of the acting trio in the local version of Eve Ensler’s groundbreaking play, ‘The Vagina Monologues’. It was powerful, engaging but unfortunately the authorities deemed it too controversial and hence was banned. Now she’s back with another work by the same author/playwright called ‘The Good Body’. Lim Chee Wah talks to Joanna Bessey about carbs and body image

What do you remember of ‘The Vagina Monologues’?

It was a very hectic, exciting and yet confusing time. We had a really great sold out success for a show that was really quite small. Even though we were banned for the extended run, I felt that all the hype and everything that happened in the media actually highlighted issues of women empowerment, women feeling happy about being a woman and not being ashamed. And I thought that actually made people pay attention to the issues more.

The controversy aside, it was still an important production?

It was interesting that during the process of putting together ‘The Vagina Monologues’, [we realised] a lot of things that were considered taboo, women here talk about them quite naturally – about child birth, about being loose down there after childbirth. Asian women actually talk about that kind of thing quite freely, whereas in the West, they won't even mention it. That’s just my observation, I could be wrong.

I’m glad the public's support was really behind us. It was a shame. I heard rumours that the reason it was banned was because of a complaint letter coming from a religious department in a different state. The person hadn't even watched or read it, didn't know what it is, probably just took offense to the title thinking maybe it was a ping pong show or something. Totally misinterpreted what it was probably. But it was quite an exciting time.

Do you think if it were staged now, the response to such a production would have been different?

I think the manifestation, the reactions that occur, that's a process we go through. Whether it is seven years ago or now, we would have gone through a similar process – coming to terms with 'oh yea, women – we give birth, we have uterus and we have an amazing ability to create new life’, and we should celebrate that rather than thinking we are dirty or thinking being a housewife is not as good as having a career. Actually being a mother, keeping a household, creating a safe home for your children to grow up in and be supportive of your husband, that is an amazing job, and we should not undervalue that. In fact, that is one of the most important jobs in our society.

Now you are doing ‘The Good Body’, which is also by Eve Ensler. Do you think the public will react to it the same way?

In the wake of ‘The Vagina Monologues’, ‘The Good Body’ is more personal to Eve Ensler and it also has a lot more humour in it. So I think that people are going to react to it in a different way, probably less controversial. Although she did write it a few years ago, it’s still quite topical. Because it's about 'if I had the perfect body, I would be successful, I would be loved, and everything I need would arrive'. A lot of us have that feeling. It’s in our media. And it's so much in our psyche that a lot of us really believe it. I even believed it; thinking I have to look this way, lose this much weight, then I'll do well, and then I’ll be getting the jobs that I want. Or whatever. Sad but true lah.

Everybody goes through that phase.

I think it's very interesting to pick this topic. And I love all the stuff about not being able to eat crabs. You know all the crazy neurotic manic-ness [sic] we get over food. I've gone through that. There was a period in time when I wasn't eating any complex carbohydrates for more than a year and I got upset when I couldn't have pasta. But when you look at it in retrospect or in the bigger picture, it's crazy.

Are you on any kind of diet right now?

Oh yea, I’m always on some kind of [diet]. Right now, I’m doing my 'more frequent smaller meals'. I still eat carbs but less. I have to really watch it, especially after 10.30pm.

Are you aiming to lose weight?

I am. I am still now the heaviest I’ve ever been. Even though a lot of people think that I look good but compared to how I would naturally be when I was younger, I'm just trying to get back to where I would feel more physically comfortable. If I were not an actress, I would be very happy at where I am.

The industry demands that?

Yea. The industry does demand that you lose weight – especially if you are in film or TV.

Doesn’t it frustrate you?

It used to frustrate me a lot. Now I just accept it and be in my best lah. For me, I’m more concerned about remaining fit and healthy, because this job is very physically demanding.

Have you learned anything about yourself through 'The Good Body'?

Oh yea, definitely. I think I become more aware of how much I bought into the idea about having the perfect body, the good body. What is good? Our definition of good nowadays means ‘skinny’; not necessarily healthy though but just skinny, really skinny. Eve explores what is good, what does it mean to be good, and from who's point of view, and is that really necessarily good. I think I’ve come to realise how much I bought into the whole idea of ‘if I were skinnier, I’d be making more money’. I really believed that was true but now I recognise it as a false concept. Back then when I was a lot skinnier than I am now, I always thought I’m not skinny enough. Now I’m six, seven kilos heavier, I’m beginning to realise: when is it enough?

Are you happier now with how you are?

I think I am happier with how I am physically. But I still aspire to having the discipline to hit the gym [regularly], which I don't have unless I’m being paid.