I have a crush on the tech support guy in the office. I like how he always knows so many things that people don’t really care about – he’s so passionate, so knowledgeable, so confident. And I think tech language is hot. Guys like him are usually not my type (I’ve always been into the suave ones) and my friends will definitely make fun of me. I really like him, but I have no idea if he likes me too. I don’t even know if he’s single but I do know that I’ll be really hurt if he wasn’t. What do you think I should do? Just ask him out or just wait for the crush to go away?
-Tech Underling Raises Naughty Opinions Naturally

Nice acronym, TURNON. All inappropriate or awkward crushes will run its course eventually. But why would you want that when you could have a potentially torrid romance with Tech Support Guy that will come to define your relationship with men? Obviously, I’m being ridiculous so here’s some practical advice – approach Tech Support Guy, tell him you’d love to hang out outside the office, outside of work, outside your clothes, etc. and wait for his response. If things go well, you’ll date him and if you’re still crazy about him after five decades of marriage, well, then that’s true love.

It seems hot in the movies, so I’d like to try out doing it in the shower with my girlfriend. The logistics seem to be against us though (it’s a small shower, no bathtub). Any tips? And what do girls like in the shower?
-Getting My Shower Freak On

Listen up, morons: I’m not here to do all the work for you. This is the last time I'm going to run one of your grating ‘I have a fetish; how do I go about it?’ letters. Whatever your obsession/inclination/fantasy is, no matter how weird, there are people like you out there, and all of them are online.

So, GMSFO, guess what? I typed ‘sex in the shower’ into a search engine, waited one second, and my formidable efforts were rewarded with hundreds of home pages. Sex in The Shower (www.sexintheshhower.net) sell products specifically for this erotic occasion. Notable magazines online – Cosmopolitan even has a detailed diagram – have answered this question with more flair and research than I could ever hope to accomplish. Don’t even get me started on the porno websites. Knock yourself out.

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