It's the season of love and the usual suspects (i.e. oysters, heart-shaped chocolates, champagne, perfume) make scene-stealing returns among couples. To steer away from the expected, we've compiled a list of things you can do other than gazing lovingly into your partner's eyes across a candle-lit table.

Spa
If you want to get away from all humankind, The Spa and Med Beauty is offering a spa package where couples get a private spa villa each. An oriental bathing ceremony, a shared bathtub and a Balinese massage are in the deal as you gorge on truffles and sip on champagne. Meanwhile Energy Day Spa has a ‘Time Out for Two’ package which includes a steam bath, relaxation massage and a brown sugar body scrub for a reduced price of RM199.

Film
Watch a classic beneath the stars at Publika’s film screening of Oliver Twist. The film (Frank LLoyd, 1922) screens for free at 8pm so we suggest you bring along a blanket and cuddle up. You might never know how the words ‘Pease sir, can I have some more?’ will come into use later that night.

Otherwise, catch War Horse in cinemas for a guaranteed sobfest. We know you’d rather watch Kate Beckinsale tear up the town in a latex suit, but there’s something more timeless about bringing your partner out to watch a boy-loves-horse tale on Valentine’s.

Comedy
What better way to spend Valentine’s than to laugh your way through? For this purpose, The Comedy Club KL is having a comedy and dinner show at Estate featuring British comedian Zoe Lyons while local comic Papi Zak supports.

A sumptuous four-course dinner will be served alongside. In similar fashion, a comedy and dinner show at Samplings on the Fourteenth featuring seasoned local act Andrew Netto and Ausssie funnyman Greg Sullivan will wear off the awkward silences. Smoked duck, scallop and pink grapefruit sorbet are on the menu.

Music
Sit down at Alexis Bistro and allow Ning Baizura to serenade you with her classic hits. Share one of their scrumptious pavlovas while you’re at it. Otherwise, head to KL’s premier jazz venue, No Black Tie for an evening with Rozz who will belt out love tunes from as early as the 1930s. The show is RM60 but if you’re willing to fork out RM188, you get a three-course Japanese dinner thrown in.

Party
If you allow for this sort of honesty, there are not many Valentine’s parties in town this year around but a highlight is San Valentino Singles Party at Nerofico where singletons are called upon to mingle over wine and live music.

If your partner can wait a day (it will still be Valentine’s if you pretend you’re in America), the Calvin Harris set at Vertigo on Feb 15 will be no less than palpitating at which Goldfish & Blink will support. If you’re up for a more casual beer with the mate/mates, check out our top picks at Kota Damansara.

Naughty
Yes, we know what you get up to so here’s something for the bedroom box of tricks. Get whipped into size with this soft suede flogger (RM75) which comes in five colours (natural, green, blue, purple and red).

This 3’x14’ beauty fits snugly in your palm and the swooshing sound of the 32 tails will add a frisson of excitement to any bedroom activity. We say, no pain, no gain. (03 6211 4434/thirtyfour.net). To prepare yourselves for duty, get a Brazilian and a Boyzilian together at Honeypot Wax Boutique for a reduced price of RM188 per couple. That is, if you like each other more… landscaped.

Luxury
If you can afford it, go all out with the Ritz-Carlton’s Valentine’s package. Imagine the service of a 24-hour butler, a harpist and a masseuse.

If that doesn’t cut it, head down to The Lobby Lounge for scones, pastries and sparkling wine. The Mines dinner cruise is an indulgent treat as you sit down for a private dinner overlooking the scenic lake views amidst the sunset. If it’s all sounding a bit too Nicholas Sparks at this point, get on the boat and do a Lonely Island skit. You might never get another chance.

Art
What's more alternative than deciphering abstract paintings and sculptures with your partner on Valentine's? Also, they're all free. One to look out for is Tag at Wei-Ling Contemporary, a ceramic sculpture exhibition which delves into modern consumerism.

Besides that, Capturing Twilight at Shalini Ganendra Fine Art showcases the characteristics of Chinese opera singers in black and white photography.